Submission Is for Everybody

“True strength lies in submission which permits one to dedicate his life, through devotion, to something beyond him self.” — Henry Miller

Many people think submission is a one way thing. They believe that when they give orders, it ought to be followed swiftly, without any questions. But when the same thing is required of them, they become cranky and irritated. Their sense of pride had been inflated by people obeying their orders. Consequently, they’re tempted into believing they’re more important than those they gives orders to.

It becomes dangerous when one leads, but doesn’t want to be led by anyone. The followers of such a leader will be at risk of being mistreated, and the leader himself might begin to mismanage his power and resources to his own detriment.

Whenever someone thinks no one should lead him, he gets at anyone who does because his thinking is that he’s too big to be lead. This is the selfish thinking that causes a lot of fight in the society. People think it’s disrespectful for them to be required to submit, but they think they have a right to lead and require submission from others whenever they feel like it.

People with such attitude will hardly get along with others. Their refusal to submit is as a result of their insecurity; they have a poor self-esteem. Contrary to what people generally believe, an act of submission is a show of strength and inner security, not weakness and insecurity.

It’s hard for some people to submit, not because they are strong, but because they are weak and insecure on the inside. It takes a lot of strength to walk away from an argument, not a lot of weakness.

The ones who deign are those with a sense of nobility and inner security and significance. On the other hand, those who keep on fighting are those who totally don’t have any sense of significance, nor do they think they’re noble. Their problem is that they’re trying to get it the wrong way—by fighting.

Those who seek to be significant by pulling others down will never be. In fact, they’re being foolish and immature already. And such folk are usually don’t end up being significant, because they’re going after it the wrong way.

Whenever one chooses to not submit, he’s actually being blind. He can’t see others—he’s selfish. And he’s selfishness have blinded him. Remember, blind people collide against things that they actually don’t want to, however, because they can’t see it, they can’t help it.

That’s the fate of everyone who chooses to be selfish—refusing to submit. They collide and clash against other people because they’ve been blinded by self. If only they allowed space for others, not only would they see self, others would also be seen clearly, and there would hardly be any collision with other people.

To illustrate, when two people engage in a brawl, the reason it’s hard for them to agree with each other is because they’re both blinded by self. That means they can’t see their individual faults, however, the fault of their opponent, they can see clearly.

Now, because this is happening individually to both of them, it becomes hard for either of them to see any reason to submit. But the truth is, they might not see any reason until later because their selfishness have really made them stupid but they don’t know it.

Hence, let’s all choose to submit if we don’t want to keep clashing with one another. Because even the most senior leaders would still have to submit to some form of higher authority. And that means no one is exempted from submission except God.

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Idolatory – The Father of Poverty

“If lack is your culture, plenty will destroy you.” – Myles Munroe

While you were young, there were some things that you saw some adults do around you or on TV and you thought, “that’s difficult, I could never do that!” Some of, these things were:  running 100 meters between 10-13 seconds, playing a free-kick in soccer and scoring, carrying a 150 pound weight, solving a 10th grade mathematics, repairing an electronic gadget, having a million dollars in cash, and so on.

Seeing someone doing these things would make you esteem them as super humans with extraordinary abilities. Why? That’s because at your level, it was strange or abnormal to you. You thought it was beyond your ‘normal’, and suppose you got to do it, it would be like you’re now the king of the world. You would obsess over it like it’s something really ‘big’; like it’s an ‘out of the world achievement.’ That obsession or over-estimation of your achievement is idolatrous; it’s the cause of poverty.

It would have been normal if we thought like this as very young folks; doing it would give us so much ecstasy as though had we won the world cup. However, suppose a 25-year-old young fellow, who thought like this when he was still a young lad, finds himself still thinking like that, you would assume he’s nuts. Wouldn’t you?

Yet, this is the bane of majority of today’s society: the over-estimation or worship of what ought to be seen as ‘normal.’ Their minds are cluttered with the thinking of ‘too much,’ hence, they cannot get more–more of whatever it is they perceive as an idol.

There’s a breaking point for everyone. There’s a point you will reach in various aspects of your life and you’d unconsciously say ‘that’s enough, anything other than this will be superfluous.’  There’s no problem with that. However, there’s a big problem with being okay with less than we actually want when there’s an unlimited access to it.

Wouldn’t it be like cheating yourself when you let your mind lock you out of what you want, meanwhile, you always wish you had it. It’s like someone who wishes to make friends with a lot of folks, but chooses to stay in his comfort zone, thus, making friends with no one.

It’s like a poor man who keeps locking himself out of abundance by his mind-set that says, “anything over $3000 is superfluous.” Yet, he keeps on wishing he had $3,000,000. Why? Because he’d seen $3000 as an idol–he’s seen it as too big in his mind. Consequently, he will never produce more than $3000–no matter what the circumstances. Even though he wins a lottery, in no time, he’ll lose the money and get back to his below-$3000 life. Why? Because that’s his comfort zone financially.

It’s not a mystery that 80% of lottery winners in the United States file bankruptcy within 5 years. The reason is that they failed to develop a millionaire mind-set. They’ve, instead, unconsciously developed a mind-set of being comfortable with being broke. They see money as an idol, hence, they feel it’s too big to stay too close to them. As a result of this, it has to go.

Some people are comfortable having just $2000 in their savings account. Others are uncomfortable if they have less than $10,000.  Some, $1,000,000 is their comfort zone. All these are varying levels of idolatrous thinking. Some to the benefit of the initiator, others, to their detriment.

Anytime, you unconsciously say in your mind, “this is too much.” Whatever that is will, someway or another, go away. And will never come back till you train your mind to accept and see it as normal. That’s when they idolatrous thinking, and consequently, poverty end.

 

The Irrationality of Selfishness

It is generally expected that those who are admitted into the insane asylum will be the only set of people to display a grave level of irrationality, but that’s not the case with a major part of humanity. Selfishness imparts such a blinding effect that it makes one unconscious of the fact that he’s exhibiting some level of irrationality when he indulges in it. Because all he can see is himself and what he’s after. Hence, to him every other person is irrelevant, in fact, he sees  people as a  threat, thus eliciting a bellicose attitude.

The irrationality of selfishness is obvious, but not to the offender. Only those who’re being victimized by his irrationality can attest to it. However, in retrospect, if the guilty is honest enough to admit his guilt, he’ll clearly see how stupid and petty he was, being controlled by his selfish impulses, manipulating others to gain his own desires.

As hinted earlier, the irrationality that selfishness produces is the bane of a major part of humanity. Although, it’s more loose in some than in others; nonetheless, it’s in pretty much everyone naturally. The only factor that makes it almost unnoticed in some folks is that they’ve made a conscious decision to not let their selfish desires control their actions. They’ve decided to put others’ needs above their own, thus gravely palliating the force of selfishness in their being.

Selfishness is human nature. But that’s not an excuse for irrationality, because as man grows older, he becomes more and more conscious of his deeds, hence, he’s responsible for every action he takes, whether or not it’s a habit. Because even habits, as Charles Duhigg proves in his books The Power of Habit, aren’t destiny. Once the cue that triggers the craving to act in a certain way is noticed, pretty much any habit can be dealt with—it just takes time and a little bit of hard work.

As babies, every one of us exhibited extreme levels of selfishness. We cried the roof down when we wanted food, we yelled at anyone who took something away from us, we did just about everything from a stand point of selfishness. The irrationality of a child is made manifest in his level of selfishness.

However, as man grew older, choosing not to leave aside his childishness selfishness, its effect is now felt at a higher level. Man brought his selfishness into government houses, political groups, religious bodies, corporate organizations, media houses, scientific bodies, court rooms, houses of parliament, and so on. And this has led to some level of irrational acts that has resulted in corruption, aggrandizement of public funds for private uses, pilfering of all form and at various levels, recurrent occurrences of global economic crises, absence of socio-economic infrastructure, moral and ethical compromise of all forms, and so forth.

The debilitating effect of selfishness has caused no little damage in our world today. We now have  people with selfish, baby-like minds in adult bodies leading us at various levels. We have to admit to the fact that we’ve had enough of selfishness in our society. We now need some selfless folks who will take leadership positions without their selfish interest in view, but the good of the general public. The world clamors for men and woman that will show compassion for those whom they’re assigned to lead, not taking advantage of them and their collective resources.

 

 

Pupose

             Frustration is a sign that you’re not in your purpose.

—Myles Munroe

The belief surrounding the possibility living a purpose-driven life is not a myth; it’s a reality. Everyone is not the same. We’re all given different gifting by our creator to function at different enterprises in life. Your purpose reveals your design; your design reveals your function.  Just like an electronic manufacturer, who makes a computer gadget to function a certain way, we were all made to function in peculiar ways by our creator. Man will only flourish, and find fulfillment in places where he could function as his creator intended—doing what he was born to do.

All of life is about purpose. Everything made was made for a purpose. God doesn’t partake in frivolous matter, if he makes anything, you can be sure it has a purpose for being. Even things that many consider useless like mosquitoes, ants, sand, faeces, weeds, and so on, all had a specific function they were meant to carry out.

When life is not purpose-driven, abuse is inevitable. When a man doesn’t know his purpose for living, he begins to take alternative routes that all end up giving him frustration. When one’s life is not purpose-driven, destruction is imminent, because without a sense of purpose he might come up with foolish decisions that could cause havoc in his life, and the lives his fellow human beings—a life lived without a sense of purpose is a wasted life.

How is success measured? Is it in the amount of goals achieved? If yes, then we have to evaluate who decides how success is measured. Is success measured by your own evaluation, other’s evaluation, or God’s evaluation? Because we cannot go around setting and fulfilling our own goals and have others falsely tell us we’re successful—because we look successful—or we ignorantly, saying to ourselves “I am successful”; what’s the parameter for measuring success? The parameter for measuring true success is revealed in the fulfillment of God’s purpose for creating us—not our made-up goals.

The success of a product is in the fulfillment of the purpose for which it was made. Every product—and person—owes its manufacturer the responsibility of doing what it was created to do. Otherwise, it would be counted as a failure. Since our creator—God—is not a failure, he made everyone one of us fully equipped with everything we need to successfully fulfill his assignment for our lives. And we would only be counted as successful in his eyes if we would only discover and diligently commit ourselves to fulfilling our purpose.

Discovery of purpose is requisite to fulfillment of destiny. Your life begin when you discover your purpose for living. As a result of this, we would explore a couple of hints that we can use to dig deep into our hearts and catch a clearer sight  from our innermost being as to what our purpose really is.

15 Questions for Discovery of Purpose

  • What passion do you have that won’t go away?
  • What desires do you have that won’t quit?
  • What re-occuring dreams do you have that won’t go away?
  • What ideas do you have that won’t subside?
  • What’s the one thing that makes you angry, or generally evokes your emotion?
  • If you had nothing else to do but learn, what would you learn about?
  • Who are you willing to listen to? Why are you listening to them?
  • Who do you admire? Why?
  • What problems do you easily notice that others seem to have a hard time noticing?
  • What’s some perfect conversation for you to talk about?
  • What are you a genius at doing?
  • What environment does the best gift in you come out?
  • Who are you passionate to help? (i.e., the poor, the unlearned, those with emotional problems)
  • What do they want or need?
  • What profession do you enjoy so much that you could do it for free?

Passion: The Driving Force

“Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you.”
Oprah Winfrey

Everyone has passion, but it’s either small or big. The size of the passion is directly proportional to the size of the goal and the degree of belief in the possibility of achieving it.

The main difference between A students and C students isn’t their IQ, that’s secondary, it’s their passion, their motivation, their inner drive. Their passion determines whether or not they’ll go all the way and get an A score–whether or not it’s convenient.

It’s your passion that drives you to read. The students who don’t read do so because of poor self-belief and the smallness of their goals–to just pass, instead of getting an A.

Their poor self-concept crippled their belief in the possibility of realising the excellence they envisioned, thus, curtailing their big goals and forcing them into accepting small ones.

The truth is, no one is lazy, they just have no inspiration. They lack an inner force that can drive them to positive action.

This inner force either drives one to positive action towards the achievement of goals, or negative action towards non-achievement of goals.

This force drives one towards achievement of goals if he believes he can achieve them. Or it drives one away from achieving his goals if he believes he can’t achieve them.

Hence, to increase your inspiration, to fuel your passion:

  • Believe you can achieve your goals,
  • Do what you love,
  • Make your goals big enough to move you to action,

When you do this, you’ll realise that when things begin to look too difficult in your quest to achieving your goals, your belief in the possibility of actualising your goals,  the love you have for what you do, and the largeness of your goals will be the only thing that keeps you going.

Give Them Space – The Danger of Thinking People Are Complex

Dealing with complexity is an inefficient and unnecessary waste of time, attention and mental energy. There is never any justification for things being complex when they could be simple. —Edward de Bono

One of the biggest mistakes one could make is to walk around with a negative perspective that sees people as being complex. There’s hardly any bigger mental bondage one could put himself. Apart from the fact that it’s a lie, thinking people are complicated or difficult controls your perception of them and how you relate to them. Such kind of thinking inhibits you a great deal, and it affects you relationally.

There are a couple of dangers around thinking people are complex. Here are some of them.

5 Dangers of Thinking People Are Complicated:

  1. It’ll make you dislike them: The truth is how you see people determines to a large extent how relate to them. If you go around thinking people are difficult to deal with, it’ll only make you a little uncomfortable around them, hence, it’ll be difficult to like them. Human beings are wired to like whatever they find easy or welcoming, not what scares or confounds them. So your perception of people affects how much you’d like them.
  2. It’ll be difficult to express love: It’s so important among acquaintances and kin that love be expressed on a regular basis. Love is like the fuel that keeps the car of our relational vehicle going fine. If love is scarcely expressed, the relationship will suffer.

In spite of that, there are some circumstances where it’s difficult to express love. The main reason being because you don’t understand who you’re trying to love so you aren’t sure if your love is needed, let alone, going to be accepted. And because of your uncertainty about how your love will be received, which is due to your wrong perception, it becomes difficult to show or express it.

  1. It imparts fear into you: At the core of fear is a word, “uncertainty.” Uncertainty is bred in an arena of confusion. Where there’s no clarity—there’s doubt. Where the future is unknown—there’s fear. Hence, wherever there’s confusion, there’s doubt, and wherever there’s doubt, there’s fear.

A wrong perspective controls everything. When you think people are complicated and un-understandable, it becomes very easy to fear them. Sometimes the fear is there for no valid reason but it’ll always remain so far your wrong perspective is still extant. Hence a wrong perspective makes you fear people for no reason.

  1. It generates anger: If you thought of people to be simple like a child, it’ll make a whole world of difference compared to you seeing them as complicated. Case in point, if a little child slaps you on the cheek, you won’t necessarily think of slapping him because of how you see him: a little, helpless child. However, if an adult slaps you on the cheek, chances are, you would want to retaliate.

If anything, you’ll feel more triggered and angered in this case than you would if a child had slapped you on the cheek. You’d naturally see the adult as being difficult, annoying, and probably rotten. And that controls your response.

Now, it doesn’t have to really be a child or an adult. Irrespective of who it is who slapped you, your perspective is what decides your reality, and your reality decides your response. Your reality doesn’t decide your perspective, it only suggests one, it’s you who decides how you see thing, and ultimately, how you react towards them. Hence, thinking people are complex can really get you easily angered.

  1. It’ll make people ignore you: When your perception of people is wrong, it’ll always result in some aura of uneasiness or irritation. You‘ll discover that something just doesn’t seem to be clicking, and the aura you create—sweet or stinking—makes people either run away from you or want to hang around you continually.

Nobody wants to be around a person who flusters them. Long silences can be really awkward and flustering. People really want a seamless flow; they want comfort not discomfort. And they’ll only go where they can get it.

Accordingly, when you decide to keep the wrong perspective. It makes relating with people the most difficult or mysterious thing in the world, hence there will be no seamlessness flow or ease in your relational life. This makes people run away from you.

Pride, Timidity, and Selfishness

Timidity, pride, and selfishness are inter-connected.

You can become so self-occupied that others around you become almost unseen. Their needs, their want, and importance to you is opaque because, after all, all you see is yourself—that’s pride.

Pride, like timidity, is a decision. It’s a decision to think you’re too important and no one deserves your love, attention, kind affection, and so on. So you’re just self-focused and others don’t matter that much as to get your attention.

You might be reading and thinking, “if a person is timid, he certainly might want to do these things but the truth is that he can’t.” Well, whoever says he can’t is simply not honest enough to tell the truth, or probably cannot see the truth.

An Act of the Will?

Timidity, first of all, is a decision you make—it’s an act of the will. If at all, the feeling of timidity comes on you, and it’ll always come, it’s nothing more than a suggestion to be fearful, and you can choose to say ‘no!’ Fear is an act of the will.

Throughout the whole Bible, about 365 times, the words ‘fear not’ appears. God in his infinite wisdom, knowing fear is not an act of the will could have said something like, “don’t worry, I’ll help you not to fear”; instead, he says, “fear not.”

God wouldn’t have repeated to us over and over again to do what only he could help us do. He’s not a wicked God.

Irresponsibility is a refusal to do what you should do even though you’re capable of doing it. A timid person is simply irresponsible; and it’s become a habit. That’s why his fears happen on autopilot.

Are You At the Centre?

There’s a striking similarity between pride and timidity. The similarity is that both a proud person and a timid person is full of himself. Another way to put it is, he is at the ‘centre’.

To illustrate, how would you feel if someone comes to you, looks at you straight in the eye and says, “I hate you!” Your answer to this question will go a long way in determining whether you’re at the center or not.

Will you be too concerned? Would you care less if he did? Will you hate him back? Will you love him less? In specificity, the degree to which you’re irritated is the degree to which you’re at the center. And guess what, being at the center is selfishness.

Hence, pride and timidity are both a form of selfishness that creates blindness to the needs of others. A timid person, even though he wants to love can barely love. Accordingly, if he wants to get rid of such blindness, he needs to first get rid of his fear. Fear makes one self-occupied.

Being at the center connotes being preoccupied with self; i.e., how people see you, what people think of you, what kind of reputation you have out there, and so on. It’s like a prison you create for yourself that stops you from fully and freely expressing your true self.

The word ‘I’ is the smallest word that describes the biggest problem of man. When you are at the center, you’re barely happy. You let others determine your happiness; control your feelings and your emotions. The best of you, your true self is hidden.

When people choose to treat you right, you’re happy. However, when they choose to treat you bad, you’re unhappy. That’s not really a smart way to live.

Reputation

When you’re at the center all you want to protect is your reputation. And that inhibits you greatly. You can’t talk when you want to. You can’t laugh when you feel like. You can’t sing when you feel like. You’re trapped by your self-created mental cage.

Proud people are also very self-occupied. They seek respect from people so much that they’re also careful no one tries to demean them. They’ll furiously lash out at anyone who ‘don’t see how big they are.’

They suppose people ought to see their worth so they’ll hate on anyone who doesn’t respect their self-created confabulated reality of being worthy of respect.

When you’re self-occupied you barely can see others. The true essence of life isn’t found in living selfishly, but in selflessly loving other people.

The most fulfilled people are not selfish self-occupied people. They’re selfless and people-loving. True fulfillment comes from selflessness.

“Selfishness is one of the more common faces of pride. ‘How everything affects me’ is the center of all that matters–self-conceit, self-pity, worldly self-fulfillment, self-gratification, and self-seeking.”

Ezra Taft Benson